It is human nature for people to critique themselves and compare themselves to others. When one thinks they don’t measure up, it can be a cause for self-destruction. What I mean is, so many times I have compared myself to others, especially my body image, telling myself I need to go on a diet. When I fail at losing some unrealistic weight or lack discipline in following a rigid diet, I turn on myself. Essentially, I bring about harm to myself further by indulging in those things that keep my weight up to start with, like sweets, or I want to blame others for my failure.

I have spent the majority of my life in a role of intentional listening. What I am grateful for is that we are not all wounded on the same day. It is in sharing our struggles that we learn we are not alone. Having a confidant with whom we can disclose honestly is vital. It is when we listen to stories from others that we realize, “me too.” We can offer comfort to others in their time of distress, as if putting a bandage on their wounds while we bandage our own. It is the experience that helps us overcome unimaginable challenges through working with others.

This woundedness can create a façade that one is better than the other. It’s happening in living color with this administration. The unemployment rates are approximately 4.10% in Missouri and 3.80% in Kansas. There are heated conversations about immigration, and as a result, there is abuse by ICE towards innocent people. There is a refusal to release the Jeffrey Epstein files. The GOP is redistricting and gerrymandering maps predominantly in black areas to allow Republicans to render the black vote ineffective. Not to mention the attack on black communities and how homelessness is now a crime, the start of school is around the corner, and meals and supplies will be scarce in public schools, while charter schools will provide parents with vouchers to help cover tuition. Then there is the rising cost of living, inflation has skyrocketed, and the inability to work eight hours and earn a decent wage to support oneself, let alone a family, can make it hard to survive. The lack of mental health is staggering. The disadvantages of income equality are glaring in comparison to someone who is living a wealthy lifestyle.  

Have you ever looked outside yourself and wished you were someone else, or somewhere else? Let me say, “Even those with wealth are wounded.” Otherwise, they wouldn’t try to steal from the lower and middle classes to gain more wealth for themselves. Sure, it’s greed, but also they are wounded. The thought is a metaphorical realm of suffering and harm generated by spiritual emptiness and emotional distress.

The moral of the story is to recognize that we are not alone. We all have flaws, yet we don’t have to punish ourselves because we are not where we want to be, or because we are not getting the necessities we need. No. It is by helping someone else, even if it is only lending a listening ear to look for the similarities and identify with someone else’s pain, that we can share and lessen our burdens, as well as theirs.

I read a quote from Philosopher Hannah Arendt, “…constant lying is not aimed at making the people believe a lie, but at ensuring that no one believes anything anymore. A people that can no longer distinguish between truth and lies cannot distinguish between right and wrong.” Did you know that the National Institutes of Health claim that people in the poorest countries, with fewer resources, are some of the happiest and most satisfied individuals? I attribute it to accepting their lot and not comparing themselves to others. Please do not believe the lie that we are not worth living; instead, take the time to register to vote and cast your ballot in every election. What better way to offer oneself the greatest gift when things seem so doomed.

We might all be wounded, but we are not helpless. We can make a difference in our communities. We can contribute to the change by utilizing our voting power to remain optimistic. Or we can choose to harm ourselves because life isn’t exactly what we had hoped for. Either way, it’s a choice. Conditioning ourselves to life, instead of thinking life is to change for us, will give us the most excellent satisfaction of acceptance, serenity, and spiritual well-being. It is a state of inner peace and deep connection to a greater purpose and power.