How to Handle Pushback in Leadership

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

We all know people who can disagree in a way that has others listen, consider their perspective, and feel respected. We also all know people who disagree and blow up the room -- and their relationships. (I am usually coaching a few of those folks at any given time.) In my latest Psychology Today article, I explore how to become what I call a "respectful rebel"-- someone who knows how to voice dissent constructively, leading to successful outcomes and contributing to healthy relationships.. Here are five practices with examples of what to say (and what not to say): 1. Ground feedback in shared purpose Say: "Because I care about the client experience, I'm concerned about..." Not: "This approach completely ignores what our clients need." 2. Time your dissent wisely Say: "Before we finalize this decision, can I offer a different perspective?" Not: "I knew this wouldn't work." 3. Ask instead of attack Say: "How do you see this impacting our frontline team?" Not: "This will overwhelm our staff and they'll all quit." 4. Mind your tone Say: "I see it differently and would like to share my thinking" Not: "That approach makes no sense and won't work here." 5. Check your motive Ask yourself: "Am I speaking up to contribute—or to be right?" The difference between helpful disagreement and harmful pushback often comes down to intention, delivery, and timing. How do you know if you're a Respectful Rebel or a Rude one? Watch what happens after you speak. If people engage with your ideas, ask questions, and the conversation deepens, you're doing it right. If people get defensive, go silent, or the energy drains from the room, it's time to recalibrate. Link to article in the comments.

Amazon is famous (infamous?) for having some pushy, demanding leaders. You can handle pushy leaders with my simple approach: I was personally easy to get along with while be professionally firm when needed. No matter where you work, there will be difficult people. Some of these people will "come at you" with challenges or demands. One style of leadership is to make an assertion and see if anyone challenges it. By saying "I think you should do X" I both find out if you have a better idea and if not, you do what I think anyway. Pretty win/win from a pushy perspective. In one example at Amazon, Jeff Wilke, the CEO of Amazon retail, was upset at a recent launch failure by my team. His justifiable frustration led him to question and doubt every part of our product. I eventually simply leveled with him and said "look, we screwed up the implementation of a button on a web page. Absolutely a terrible mistake and if you want to punish us for it, I understand. But, the technology *behind* the button works just fine. Don't throw out the working technology because we messed up a button." Here I was not fighting, I was accepting responsibility for the problems and for any consequences. But I was firmly making the case for the underlying technology. Jeff paused and reflected. Then he said, "that's a pretty good argument." Not only did he support the core technology, but he became less upset about the problems because we were not denying them. What you can do: 1) Remain calm if at all possible! Emotion triggers more emotion in return, and spirals. --Even if criticized, try to take it in stride in the moment --If you need to, ask for a break and come back later 2) Stick firm to your points --Calmly state your case What works here is the contrast. When you disagree with someone in words while being truly agreeable in demeanor, many people will match your conduct. They will discuss with you rather than attack you. In a business room, most people do not want to be seen as ranting jerks (even if they are pushy people by nature). If they lash out at someone who is calmly stating reasonable points in an even voice, they look like they have lost control. "Strong" leader types never want to appear out of control. Thus, if you are calm, they usually have to remain calm with you. This process is not easy! 1) It takes a lot of practice --Whenever possible, talk yourself through your response to emotional prodding before the meeting --an excellent trick is to decide in advance, "if this escalates, I will become more quiet, calm, and firm in response" --by deciding your response in advance, you can avoid escalation 2) I definitely failed sometimes and got into unproductive debates 3) Sometimes I know I was the "pushy, demanding" leader, particularly early in my career. --to those I pushed unreasonably, a sincere apology. I do not regret trying to get a lot done; I do regret my immature approach Comments?