Leadership Pitfalls and Challenges

The better you get at something, the less valuable it feels. That’s because your expertise becomes invisible, not just to others, but to you. What once took years of trial, error, and effort now feels easy. And when it feels easy, we assume it’s not worth much. Research by David Dunning and Justin Kruger shows the opposite is true for beginners: they often overestimate their ability. Experts, on the other hand, tend to underestimate themselves because their skills have become second nature. Here’s why this matters… If you’re preparing for an interview, taking on more responsibility, or stepping into leadership, it’s easy to undersell yourself. The very skills you see as “just what I do” might be exactly what others see as your unique edge. So before you brush off your expertise, pause. Write down the skills you’ve mastered, the results you’ve created, and the challenges you’ve overcome. You’ll not only see your value more clearly, you’ll be ready to communicate it with confidence. (🎥 This is a keynote snippet from The Forward Event earlier this year - epic event!)

I’m on week 8 at Grammarly, and as I ramp up here I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes executive onboarding work (or not). I’ve guided many leaders through their first months as a manager, mentor, or advisor. And unfortunately, a lot of exec transitions fall short. Dropping into a well-established team is tricky, but when done well, proper onboarding creates the foundation for success. Three exec onboarding principles I’ve found crucial: 1️⃣ No one knows who you are... and they are going to be skeptical. Leadership welcomed you warmly, but your team needs time to form their own opinions. Your hiring manager’s advocacy doesn’t automatically transfer to everyone else. You'll need to build credibility from scratch. 2️⃣ You have more to learn than you think. And no, you can't learn it later. There's a brief window when everyone expects you to ask questions. Use it! Too many execs miss this chance and later struggle to fill knowledge gaps discreetly. Be a sponge—absorb the product, meeting cadence, company acronyms, and decision-making processes now, when it’s okay to not know. It gets much harder once you’re expected to already know everything. 3️⃣ What the leader thinks is broken isn't what everyone else thinks is broken. You were hired to solve specific problems, but your team has a different list of pain points. Your job is to understand and address both perspectives. Seeing where these top-down and bottom-up views overlap (or clash) usually points to what you should tackle first. My approach and advice: resist the urge to prove yourself quickly. Instead, spend these first 8 weeks learning. And it’s inevitable that urgent issues will constantly compete for your attention, so fill your calendar with learning activities first, before daily priorities take over. I have a full guide with more detailed exec onboarding learnings, as well as a template for creating your learning plan in Coda: https://lnkd.in/g86R3NS

External validation is a trap. And yet I spent years (like many) chasing it… We’ve got to keep Dan Mian’s quote in mind. Relying on external validation feels good, until it doesn’t. The praise, the recognition, the approval from others can be addictive. But when your self-worth depends on it, you give away control over your own confidence and happiness. Why is it a trap? → It’s never enough No matter how much recognition you get, there’s always a need for more. The goalposts keep moving, and satisfaction never lasts. → It shifts power away from you When your confidence is tied to what others think, you let them decide how you feel about yourself. → It stops you from taking risks Fear of criticism can keep you from making bold moves or trying something new, in case you don’t get the approval you’re used to. → It leads to burnout Constantly seeking validation makes it easy to overwork, overcommit and ignore your own needs. How to break free? - Learn to sit with discomfort when approval doesn’t come, resilience grows in those moments - Surround yourself with people who support you for who you are, not just for what you achieve - Set personal goals that matter to you, not just to impress others - Recognise your own worth without needing external proof Approval is nice, but it’s not the foundation of real confidence. The moment you stop chasing it, you take back control. P.S. What’s helped you step away from external validation? ♻️ If you think this post could help someone in your network, hit repost. 👋🏼 Hey, I’m Laura- I share posts that empower busy people to build healthier, happier workplaces and teams. Hit ‘follow’ to keep updated.

Success feels empty when it's built on other people's expectations. I see this everywhere in corporate leadership today. Executives burning out not from the work itself, but from constantly trying to prove their worth to others. 𝟱 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝟭. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 Waiting for that "great job" message or positive feedback to feel good about your performance. 𝟮. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 Your self-worth rises and falls with performance ratings instead of staying steady. 𝟯. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 Taking on more projects than you can handle because saying no might disappoint someone. 𝟰. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 Putting in extra hours to be seen as dedicated rather than because the work demands it. 𝟱. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 Constantly worried that people will discover you're not as good as they think you are. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝘅 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲. Instead of asking "What will they think?" start asking "What do I think?" Instead of seeking approval, start trusting your judgment. Instead of proving your worth, start knowing your worth. Real success comes from internal confidence, not external applause. The best leaders I know stopped performing for the crowd and started leading from their core. What would change in your leadership if you stopped seeking validation and started trusting yourself? ♻️ Share this to help more leaders to lead from their core. Follow Adeline Tiah  for content on future of work and leadership.

"I only tell my boss the risks when I’m 100% sure, otherwise I’d rather keep quiet” - a manager recently told me during a workshop: Other managers started nodding - highly relatable. This is what psychology calls the MUM effect - Minimizing Unpleasant Messages coined by Rosen & Tesser (1970). It’s the deeply human tendency to avoid delivering bad news or to soften it until the truth is barely visible. - We do it to protect ourselves from blame. - We do it to protect others from discomfort. - And in the moment, silence feels safer than honesty. But here’s the cost: - Leaders make decisions without critical information. - Teams repeat the same mistakes. - Opportunities get lost. But here’s the paradox: what feels safe for the individual is unsafe for the team. Neuroscience explains why: when we prepare to share uncomfortable truths, the amygdala - the brain’s threat detection system - activates. It interprets honesty as danger: the risk of rejection, conflict, or loss of status. So silence feels like self-protection. How can leaders mitigate this effect? 👉 1. Redefine what “good” means in your team Say explicitly: “Being good here means raising risks early, even if you’re not 100% sure.” 👉 2. Reward the messenger, not just the message Thank people for speaking up, regardless of whether the risk turns out real. This rewires the brain to see honesty as safe. 👉 3. Ask better questions Replace “Any questions?” with “What’s the toughest risk we might be overlooking?” or “What would you challenge if you were in my seat?” ✨ This is exactly what I work on with leadership teams in my Safe Challenger program and workshops, helping leaders unlearn compliance-based leadership and build cultures of courage. Because the biggest risk in teams isn’t mistakes. It’s silence. P.S.: What’s do you think is harder: speaking up with uncomfortable truths or hearing them?

As a leadership-communication coach, I've had the privilege of working with many talented individuals, helping them unlock their true potential and become the best version of themselves. However, one particular client stands out as a remarkable example of how a hidden blind spot can hinder even the most promising leaders. Through our coaching journey, we uncovered a pattern- holding this leader back: the constant need for validation. The human mind is a complex landscape, and many of our behaviors are driven by unconscious motives. Seeking validation is a deeply ingrained instinct that often goes unnoticed, operating in the background of our decision-making processes. This pattern is not limited to any specific type of individual; it can affect even us. In this case, the leader I was coaching had always been an achiever. He set high standards for himself and the team, and his drive to excel was admirable. Yet, beneath the surface, his desire for external validation was shaping his decisions and impacting his #leadership style. During our coaching sessions, we delved into past experiences and discovered a pattern that had been repeating throughout his life. From his childhood achievements to his professional milestones, he had grown accustomed to seeking approval from authority figures, peers, and subordinates. This external validation had become his compass, guiding his choices and shaping his sense of self-worth. At first, he was dismissive when I brought up this pattern. Like many of us, he had built a solid facade around this vulnerability, concealing it from even himself. However, with time and patience, he began to recognize how seeking validation had affected his decision-making process as a leader. The need for approval led him to avoid difficult conversations, fearing that asserting his authority might result in negative perceptions. These behaviors might have offered temporary relief, but they impeded his growth as a leader and, more importantly, as an individual. To overcome this, we embarked on a journey of self-awareness and self-compassion. I encouraged him to challenge his assumptions about validation and recognize that true leadership comes from within. Today, we focus on cultivating a deep sense of self-belief and fostering confidence in his abilities. Instead of seeking validation, he learned to focus on his values and vision, aligning decisions with his true purpose as a leader. As a result, he is witnessing the transformation in his team dynamics, communication, and overall leadership effectiveness. One of the key takeaways from this coaching experience is that we are indeed immune to change until we consciously choose to challenge our blind spots. By shining a light on the hidden patterns of seeking #validation , this leader is able to break free from the constraints holding him back and unlock his full potential. - What are your blind spots? #archanaparmar

I’ve undersold myself in 100’s of interviews “I don’t have the right qualifications” “Is my experience even enough” “What if they think I’m not good enough as a 👉🏾mum 👉🏾woman 👉🏾minority 👉🏾INSERT BLANK These lies have cost me opportunities I was more than qualified for. Here’s what I’ve learned: Underselling 👎🏾 Holds you back 👎🏾reinforces the very barriers you’re trying to break. Here are 5 ways to stop underselling yourself and own the room 1. Stop “Explaining” and Start Positioning → Don’t apologize for your background → Position it as an asset. For me I’d highlight what being a mum+minority meant in my sales position 👍🏾 bring fresh perspectives to situations 👍🏾 understand and not break in negotiations 👍🏾 drive results in high-context environment 2. Show Them the Money → Companies care about results. Quantify your achievements and show your impact in numbers. Example: “Led a project that delivered a 15% increase in team productivity, saving $200K annually.” → Tie every skill back to value: 👍🏾 saves time 👍🏾increase revenue 👍🏾improves efficiency 3. Flip the Script on “Not Enough Experience” → Lack of direct experience doesn’t mean lack of ability. Reframe transferable skills. Example: “My ability to lead diverse teams and navigate challenges has consistently delivered these 3 results (STATE RESULTS/IMPACT) 4. Be Bold in the Ask → Confidence is half the battle. End interviews with a statement that reinforces your value. Example: “I’m confident my unique skills can make an immediate impact on your team by leveraging my past experience in X, Y, Z. What would success look like for this role in the first 90 days?” 5. Own Your Voice—No One Else Has It → Your lived experiences bring insights others can’t replicate. → Don’t downplay them; they’re your edge. Example: “As a minority in tech, I’ve had to overcome systemic barriers, which has made me more resilient, creative, and focused on delivering results under pressure.” ———— Ps: Out of curiosity would you rather go through this In a workshop where you learn how to stop underselling yourself in interviews and promotions ? Type “WORKSHOP” and I’ll set it up.

A few years ago, I coached a senior manager who constantly micromanaged his team. Not because he didn’t trust their capability — but because he didn’t trust himself. Early in his career, he'd been sidelined and humiliated by a leader who questioned his every move. So, when he finally became a manager, control felt like safety. But that safety came at a cost. His best people began leaving. Innovation slowed. And the culture grew quieter… and colder. What I’ve learned since is this: Not all toxic behavior comes from a place of ego. Sometimes, it’s a symptom of insecurity—unprocessed, unspoken, and deeply human. Fear of being outshone. Fear of being exposed Fear of losing control Fear of failure or irrelevance These fears don’t shout. They whisper. And they show up as: Micromanagement disguised as “standards” Reluctance to delegate in the name of “quality” Building teams of loyalists over challengers Sidelining confident, competent team members Killing initiative with a smile The tragedy? In trying to avoid loss or criticism, fear-driven managers create it. Fear, left unchecked, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But here’s the thing—this isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. Because real leadership begins with the courage to look within. Ask yourself: Am I inspired by strong voices—or intimidated? Do I nurture confidence—or control it? Am I surrounding myself with comfort—or capability? Am I leading from self-belief—or defending from fear? Because the environment you create is a reflection of the space you’re leading from. Have you ever seen fear show up in leadership? Maybe in yourself? A peer? A past experience? Let’s have a conversation that matters. #SanjeevaniEffect #LeadershipReflections #PeopleFirst #FearInLeadership #HRTales #AuthenticLeadership #WorkplaceCulture #SelfAwareLeadership EclipticHRS

Corporate Soul Stories 225: #Weak Leadership Creates the Strongest Regrets In my years of observing leaders, organizations, and societies, one truth has stood out clearly: most failures are not born of malice. They are born of weakness. Weak leaders stay silent when they should have spoken. They chase comfort when courage is required. They embrace excuses when discipline is needed most. It is rarely the ill intent of a few that derails institutions. More often, it is the quiet complacency of many who look away. Silence, left unchecked, becomes a breeding ground for decay. I have seen organizations lose their finest talent because leaders avoided difficult conversations. I have seen vibrant cultures turn toxic because uncomfortable truths were never addressed. I have seen institutions collapse—not because their mission failed, but because those entrusted to protect it bowed to fear, surrendered to pressure, or traded principles for short-term gains. Weakness is not harmless. It corrodes trust. It weakens culture. And its scars are not temporary—they multiply into long-term regret. Strong leaders make mistakes too. But here lies the difference: strong leaders own them, learn from them, and rebuild. Weak leaders deny, deflect, and eventually drown in their mistakes. Time has an unforgiving way of separating the two. Where strength builds resilience, weakness leaves behind wasted potential and broken legacies. A weak leader cannot shield their people. A weak leader cannot preserve culture. A weak leader cannot carry forward a vision. And when the reckoning arrives—when cracks widen into chasms—the heaviest burden is not failure itself. It is the awareness that they had the power to act and chose not to. That is the loudest regret of all. So what does strength mean for leadership today? It is not bravado. It is discipline in decision-making. It is the willingness to speak when silence feels safer. It is the conviction to uphold values when compromise appears profitable. It is the responsibility to safeguard not just quarterly numbers, but the humanity of people and the integrity of culture. Weakness is a habit. The longer organizations tolerate it, the faster decline sets in. Strength, on the other hand, is a duty. Leaders who embrace it do more than steer companies—they protect the future. They create foundations that generations can stand on. Weak leadership creates the strongest regrets. Strong leadership, though difficult, leaves behind legacies that endure. The choice rests with us: to look away and hope for the best, or to rise with courage and act when it matters. Because in leadership, regret is not measured by what went wrong. It is measured by what could have been right—if only we had chosen strength. DC* To be continued...

One phrase I’d love to leave behind in 2024: "𝘞𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘵/𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦-𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵." Why? Because it’s often followed by leadership asking someone like you (and me) to provide “innovative solutions.” 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Do more with less. And when you don’t have formal authority, this becomes a masterclass in uphill battles. You don’t own the resources. You don’t control the budget. Yet you’re expected to: • Manage stakeholders • Communicate effectively • Navigate conflicts • Inspire collaboration • Motivate a matrixed team Sound familiar? As much as I want to leave the budget-constrained narrative in 2024, reality says otherwise. It’s here to stay in 2025. So what can you do when you’re the leader they call, without the authority they rely on? Here are my 𝟯 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗲𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀: 𝗠𝗮𝗽 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆. • Understand their motivations, priorities, and pain points. • Build relationships proactively—don’t wait until a crisis to connect. 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹. • Frame your asks around shared wins. People will align when they see the benefit for themselves. • Use storytelling to create an emotional connection to your vision. 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. • Trust your skills, even when others don’t explicitly say it. • Focus on the facts of your achievements, not the feelings of doubt. Leadership isn’t about titles; it’s about impact. And your ability to thrive in these environments will set you apart. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲: What’s your go-to strategy for leading without formal authority? Let’s share insights in the comments.