Overcoming good girl syndrome in women

If "having it all" means feeling like you're constantly falling short in every direction, then we need to talk. As a psychologist, I've sat with countless women who are absolutely crushing it on paper—CEO, founder, incredible mother, loving partner—yet are crumbling inside. They describe a relentless tug-of-war, a deep internal conflict between the roles they play. It's not just about time management. It's about identity fragmentation. Here’s the truth I often share: The Myth of the "Balanced" Woman Most women are not struggling to balance their roles; they are struggling to balance their 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 amidst their roles. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 "𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥" 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩: For many, the drive to excel in every role comes from an old, unconscious belief: "I must be everything to everyone to be worthy." This isn't ambition. This is a subtle form of self-abandonment. 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐤-𝐚-𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐞: You try to be the strategic leader at work, the patient parent at home, the supportive friend, the passionate lover. But each role demands a different emotional posture, a different energy. And when one aspect of you rises, another feels neglected. This isn't a failure of effort; it's a failure of integration. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝: You carry an internal scorecard, meticulously tracking perceived failures and successes in each domain. A late email, a missed school event, a forgotten anniversary—each is a strike against your self-worth, deepening the internal schism. The Path to Integration, Not Just Balance Instead of chasing an elusive "balance," consider focusing on 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬: What truly matters to 𝘺𝘰𝘶? Not what society, family, or your industry dictates. When your actions align with your core values, the internal conflict lessens. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: Your "work self" needs to be able to feel frustration. Your "mom self" needs to acknowledge exhaustion. Suppressing emotions in one domain only leads to them erupting elsewhere. Emotional literacy means allowing 𝘢𝘭𝘭 of you to be present, appropriately. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞: Stop compartmentalizing so rigidly. Can you bring a part of your strategic brilliance to parenting? Can your compassionate self show up in leadership? The goal isn't to perfectly divide your hours, but to bring your whole, authentic self to whatever you are doing. You are not a collection of separate personas. You are one complex, magnificent woman with diverse capacities. The struggle is real, but the solution isn't to try harder to "balance" an impossible ideal. It's to stop the internal fight and lead with ruthless self-respect. What if your wholeness was the most powerful asset you possess? #WomenInLeadership #MentalHealth #Boundaries #SelfWorth #EmotionalIntelligence

“I have a good life. I shouldn’t be complaining.” I've heard these words countless times from my coaching clients. We’ll be in the midst of an intense conversation: they’re baring their heart and soul, telling me all about what it's like to feel trapped, not themselves, lost... And about their deep desire to lead a more meaningful, more fulfilling life than their current one… And then they'll stop mid-sentence, lower their gaze, and say: “But don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. I know how good I have it. I should be happy.” Have you ever said that? Or thought it? I certainly have. I used to guilt and shame myself for feeling caged in a "perfect" life, and wanting things to change. I had no right. Others had it worse. And as long as those were my thoughts, I stayed right where I was: Caged. Letting my relative privilege silence my VOICE was just another aspect of my “Good Girl” conditioning that kept me from moving towards the life I knew I desired with every fiber of my being. It’s possible to have “everything” to be happy – a “perfect” relationship, a comfortable life, no existential worries – and still feel trapped. Being grateful for your blessings is a wonderful thing. But when you let gratitude invalidate your feelings, it turns into SELF-SABOTAGE. How? It keeps you from taking ACTION. The beautiful home, the successful career, the perfect marriage – they can still feel like a cage (albeit a golden one), when they don’t align with what truly matters to you. And you have the RIGHT to get yourself out of that cage – EVEN if others have it worse. There's a way to do that, and it involves giving yourself PERMISSION. 💚 It was only when I gave myself permission to acknowledge that I felt trapped and unfulfilled,  that I was able to take my first bold decisions that got me down the path of reinvention. Was I grateful to have some backup? Absolutely. But while backup and resources can smooth the path, they don’t walk it for you. You do. ➡ 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 “𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙?” P.S. If this resonates with you & you want to know more about how "Good Girl" conditioning can keep you stuck, & what it takes to break free & reclaim control of your life, read my new memoir, 𝑈𝑛𝑐𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑑: 𝐴 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝐺𝑖𝑟𝑙'𝑠 𝐽𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑅𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. Pre-order here: 📚 https://lnkd.in/eHYZJymg (CH/DE/AUT) https://lnkd.in/eEsCUkRH (UK) https://lnkd.in/eGR8guiE (US) #Reinvention #WomenEmpowerment #GoldenCage ✨ 🙋🏻♀️ I’m Katia Vlachos, reinvention coach, author, speaker, and meditation teacher. 🚀 Let's launch your next chapter, boldly and unapologetically. Click 🔔 on my profile for more posts on this and similar topics.  ✨

When you’re an international woman in leadership, when is it bad to be good? And, most importantly, when is it good to be BaD? Don’t get me wrong, BaD doesn’t mean “bad”. It means quite the opposite. It means “Bold and Daring”. Not “Bold and Daring” in a superhero kind of way. We don't need a cape. But simply a BOLDER kind of clarity in meetings, presentations and calls, by DARING to move away from certain “good girl” behaviours and focus on 2 things: connection & impact. So to be clear, BaD leadership ISN’T about being impulsive, disrespectful or arrogant. It’s about (amongst others): - sharing your valuable ideas clearly without permission or apology. - using assertive empathy in difficult conversations and disagreements. - knowing how to gracefully break into discussions & hold off interruptions. And you know what else? The first step to becoming a BaD leader isn’t to learn more English. It’s to see and UNLEARN the unspoken rules we have for ourselves; those words we thought made us “bigger” but, instead, have kept us small.   You can find 4 of the most popular ones in the carousel. But please don’t stop there. Keep looking for the words that don’t work at work and wash away that old, outdated graffiti from the walls of your mind. PS: I’m on a mission: to help as many #goodgirlsgoBaD in their Business English as possible. Want to join me? What’s your view: what other “good girl behaviours” do we need to unlearn?   -------------------------------------------------- Hi, I’m Kelly. I help international women in leadership stop polishing and perfecting their English and start using the English they already have… in a more powerful way. #businessenglish #womeninbusiness #leadershipdevelopment #breakthegoodgirlmyth