Risks of Pretending to Be Confident

Some of the worst advice out there... not only can you smell it a mile away, but it actually sets you back more than in propels you forward. “Fake It Till You Make It." The mentality might seem harmless... or even empowering. but here’s the truth: it’s a strategy that holds you back in the long run. When we rely on posturing or “faking it,” we create temporary value... a shaky foundation that breeds uncertainty and self-doubt over time. This approach can chip away at genuine confidence, leaving you second-guessing your abilities rather than embracing your true strengths. If you’re “kind of” believing in what you can do, it will lead to “kind of” results. And let’s be honest: no one invests in that. Here’s a path that builds lasting impact and real credibility: 1. Embrace Where You Are Right Now. Actionable Step: List out the top 3 strengths you bring to the table today. Focus on where you already add value. Use this clarity as your guide when you’re in new or challenging situations. This way, you’re building on a solid, authentic foundation... not pretending to be somewhere you’re not. Starting with a clear view of your strengths gives you a confidence rooted in reality... and equips you to approach each opportunity with authenticity. 2. Get Clear on Your Unique Value. Actionable Step: Identify one specific problem you can solve that aligns with your skills and expertise. Write it down in one sentence (e.g., “I help teams bridge strategy and execution gaps to drive measurable results.”). Use this as a go-to when you’re speaking with potential clients or partners. This clarity around your value will set you apart, making it easier for others to see why they should work with you... not just anyone who fits the role. 3. Bridge Your Gaps Authentically. Actionable Step: Acknowledge a skill or area you’re actively developing. Take one concrete action toward growth each week... whether that’s: - reading - building relationships - mentoring Share this journey with trusted colleagues or clients... without underselling yourself... so they experience your commitment to excellence and your drive to evolve. Owning both your strengths and areas for growth builds long-term credibility and shows others that you’re committed to being the best version of yourself. It’s how true leaders inspire and foster trust. And trust accelerates EVERYTHING.

Faking It Till You Make It… Just Makes You Fake Everyone says, Fake it till you make it. Sounds good. Until you realize it’s a trap. Let’s say you’re a new manager. You walk into meetings acting confident, nodding along when you don’t understand, avoiding questions that might expose a gap in your knowledge. You smile, perform, and hope no one sees through it. It works. Until it doesn’t. Here’s why faking it is a losing strategy: 1. It makes you a great actor, not a great leader People can feel when someone is pretending. Trust isn’t built on pretending; it’s built on credibility. The best leaders aren’t the ones who act like they know everything—they’re the ones who ask the right questions. 2. It turns learning into a liability If you fake confidence long enough, admitting you don’t know something starts to feel like failure. But real confidence comes from mastering your craft, not covering up gaps. Every time you pretend instead of learning, you delay your own growth. 3. It keeps you stuck in survival mode Faking it is exhausting. It forces you to perform instead of improving. Instead of taking risks, you play it safe. Instead of building competence, you build a persona. Eventually, that persona cracks. Here’s the truth: The people who “make it” aren’t the ones who fake it. They’re the ones who face it. Own what you don’t know. Speak up. Ask the question. That’s how you actually make it. #leadershipdevelopment #learninganddevelopment 📸 Fake personas eventually get shattered.

Ever felt like a total fraud at work? Here's why "faking it" might be crushing your potential.    Clancy Martin’s piece in 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵 on Impostor Syndrome took me back to my own beginnings. Fresh out of my MBA in ‘93, I found myself teaching negotiation at a university and consulting for major corporations.     I’d walk into every workshop, wearing a confident grin and praying no one saw through my act.     My mentor’s advice?  ↳ “Just look like you know what you’re doing—people will believe it.” So, I faked it. The participants? Loved it. But inside, I felt like a fraud    Fast forward, and I’ve realized Impostor Syndrome is universal, especially in today’s “pitch culture.” Everyone’s exuding confidence—or so it seems. But what if Impostor Syndrome isn’t a flaw? What if it’s our humility and self-awareness pushing us to improve?    Here’s how Martin breaks down Impostor Syndrome into four types and ways to handle each:    1️⃣ 𝗔𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿: Constant self-doubt.       → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆: Reframe failure as growth. Keep a “win journal” to track progress.      2️⃣ 𝗛𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗹𝗲𝗿: Faking it but one step from unraveling.       → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆: Seek internal, not external validation. Embrace imperfection with close colleagues.    3️⃣ 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿: Downplays success as “luck.”  → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆: Own your achievements—celebrate milestones without minimizing.      4️⃣ 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿: Recognizes everyone’s winging it and builds genuine connections.       → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆: Balance humility with self-recognition. Mentoring others can be a powerful reminder of your value. Impostor Syndrome isn’t about a lack of competence;  ↳ it’s about the balance of confidence and humility.     𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗲: 𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗽𝗼𝗻?    Which impostor are you? #NegotiationByDesign #Negotiation #PabloRestrepo