Strategies to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

I used to say "Comparison is the thief of joy." I was wrong. Here's why: Research now shows that comparison doesn't have to be toxic. It can actually fuel our growth. This all depends on how we frame it: "benign envy" motivates us while "malicious envy" tears us down. We must be mindful of our feelings when we compare ourselves with others. Here are 7 science-backed ways to make comparison work for you: 1. Check Your Mental State Before Scrolling Upward comparison during low moments can trigger negative spirals. Wait until you're in a positive headspace. 2. Build Authentic Self-Esteem Track and celebrate your progress to develop secure self-esteem that leads to benign envy rather than malicious envy. 3. Practice Active Gratitude When comparison triggers negative feelings, redirect your focus to what's going right in your life to boost satisfaction. 4. Remember the Incomplete Picture Everyone is struggling with something, even if it's not visible on social media or in their public persona. 5. Get Specific About Your Envy List exactly what triggers your envy and why. Use this information to identify your true goals and aspirations. 6. Define Your Own Success Metrics Draw inspiration from others but ensure you're working toward your own definition of success aligned with your core values. 7. Let Go Instead of unfollowing successful people, follow them mindfully and transform envy into genuine admiration. Social comparison is hardwired into our psychology—we can't shut it off. But we can harness it to illuminate our path forward rather than letting it divert us from our journey. Learn more about healthy social comparison here: https://lnkd.in/efVqKF83

It's very hard to be on social media and not compare yourself to others. There will always be someone more successful, smarter, wealthier, better looking, faster, thinner, with more contacts and followers and more put together than you! When we compare our lives, careers, bodies, families, trips, children, homes (the list is endless) we often hate how it makes us feel, So why do we do it? Social Media has made it easy and allows you to compare yourself to others 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with just one click. Comparison can also lead to resentment, depression and lower self-esteem. It definitely has damaging affect on the level of happiness and success you will enjoy in your personal and professional life. Football season is wrapping up and I heard a group of fans criticizing how much players were paid. A wise coach once told me "Never resent something you wish was yours!" When others achieve levels of success or income, that only proves it is possible for anyone, including you! My friend Diane took up running marathons later in life. Her goal was to improve her individual time, while she raised money for autism. If she focused on others who were her age and ran faster, she would have lost the joy of running, while raising money for a cause close to her heart! I want to share five tips that have helped me avoid "comparisons!" FIRST: Compete with yourself - Set short and long-term goals and journal your successes. View any obstacles and failures as opportunities to learn. (Remember successful people fail more, because they try to do more) SECOND: Practice gratitude daily by starting your list today. Every night before going to bed, just track three things you are grateful for on your phone. Add to the list every evening, so when you wait up the blessings in your life are front and center. Revisit and read the list often! THIRD: Celebrate other people. When you hear great news about someone else, keep your focus on them, instead of yourself. Create ways to enthusiastically celebrate their great news, while you keep working toward your own accomplishments. FOURTH: Set boundaries on how much time you spend on Social Media. Be aware that Social Media doesn't always reflect reality. (you already know this, but have your really thought about it?) It is not the complete picture of someone's life - it's just the highlight reel. FIFTH: Focus on your strenghts, talents and gifts. Write down what you really like about yourself and elaborate on each point. Think about the positive affect your strenghts, talents and gifts have on the people you love. SIXTH: Remove "noise" from your life. Noise can be your own negative self-talk or the negativity of people around you. When you talk to yourself, say "nice things!" When others tell you what you will or won't achieve - just mentally think "Watch Me!" I want you to be happy, healthy. successful and fulfilled. Life is too short to compare yourself to anyone!

DAY 2: When Body Image Insecurity Turns Into Inferiority… Let’s chat about what happens when body image insecurity takes root and grows into something even more damaging: "inferiority." It’s not just about how you see yourself in the mirror anymore; it’s how you begin to see yourself in EVERY part of your life. You start second-guessing your worth. You play small. You stop taking up space, physically and emotionally. Inferiority thrives on comparison and scarcity. It tells you there’s not enough room for you to be great because someone else already is. But that’s a lie. Here's how you start breaking free from the trap of inferiority: → Strategy 1: Quit the Comparison Game Unfollow, mute, and distance yourself from anyone or anything that triggers comparison. Your journey is YOURS, and it’s incomparable! → Strategy 2: Practice Self-Compassion Speak to yourself as you would to your best friend! Would you tell her she’s not good enough? Exactly. Start replacing that inner critic with affirmations of truth. Biblical truth is always a great place to start. 😁 → Strategy 3: Celebrate Your Wins – No Matter How Small Start a ‘Victory List.’ Write down even the tiniest achievements, and review them whenever you need a reminder of your greatness. Last night, I celebrated that I got through multiple meetings, a new client, running kids to Kumon, football practice, a basketball game, made dinner, and STILL led our nightly family devotion! 😅 Hear me when I say: You’re not here to shrink. You’re here to soar. Stop letting inferiority clip your wings. Hit the 🔔 so you don’t miss a thing in this series. Share with a friend too.

If you feel like you're falling behind... You're gonna want to read this. (this simple mental shift has brought me so much peace of mind) Listen... It's natural to compare yourself to others. It's also natural to feel shitty about that comparison. Why? Because we're masochists and we compare ourselves to the wrong people. To people further along the journey than us. We compare our page one to their page fifty. Of course I'm going to feel shitty about myself when I compare my writing to Stephen King or my businesses to Elon Musk. And it makes sense that these are the people we look to, because they're the ones ahead of us on the trail... It's their asses we're staring at on our journey to top of the mountain. I've personally struggled with this a lot over the years because I'm a very competitive person. But something I've come to realize is that one of the easiest ways to reset how you feel about yourself is to simply change who you compare yourself to. For example, you could choose at any moment to stop looking at the people ahead of you... And instead, turn around to look at all the people behind you. I promise, regardless of where you are on the path, there are millions of people further behind. But to be honest, even this comparison is ultimately shallow and likely to leave you feeling shitty about yourself. Why? Because at the end of the day it doesn't really matter how you stack up against anybody else in the world. The only comparison that actually matters is the one between who you are today and who you were yesterday... or last month... or last year. Now, if you're anything like me, you spend most of your time focused on the gap between where you are and where you're trying to go. But there's another gap I encourage you to take a moment and look back on... It's the gap between where you are now and where you began. In my experience, there's a lifetime of gratitude to be found in that chasm. So give yourself this gift today: 1. Take twenty minutes 2. Go for a walk 3. Reflect on how far you've come on your journey You've earned it.