Handling Workplace Bullying

Some people don’t play fair at work. They play to win, and they weaponize perception to do it. They bait your emotions. They move the goalposts. They delegate complete chaos. They create confusion, then call it collaboration. And quitting isn’t always an option. Especially when you're rising. Here are 7 strategies to protect your power: 1. Silence is a strategy. Don’t rush to fill the space. Pauses signal self-trust. They expose games people try to play. i.e: When a peer tries to get you to defend your work in a meeting, don’t explain everything. Just say, “That’s noted,” and move on. Let their tone do the work of revealing the dynamics to others. 2. Divest your emotional labor. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries, tone, or clarity. i.e: If your manager is in a mood or being short with you, don’t overfunction to smooth it over. Stick to the facts, keep your update short, and end the meeting on time. 3. Outshine the master carefully. Power loves proximity, so don’t disappear. Share your wins in public—but pair them with a compliment. i.e: If your director doesn’t like being outshined, say in a team update, “Thanks to [Director’s Name] for the support on this, I was able to close the contract two weeks ahead of schedule.” Tie your success to their influence while keeping your name attached to the win. 4. Speak to the pattern, not the person. Address repeat behaviors in clean, direct ways. Stick to the facts. i.e: If a colleague keeps delaying deliverables that impact you, say, “This is the third time the file has come late, and it’s caused downstream delays. I want to get ahead of this for next time.” It’s hard to argue with patterns. 5. Don’t reveal your intentions or your personal business. Say what you need, then stop talking. i.e: If you're asking for a project switch, say, “I’d like to be considered for X. I believe it’s a better use of my current strengths.” No need to mention burnout, your manager’s issues, or private goals. 6.Control access to yourself in levels. Not every colleague gets the same version of you. Boundaries are a form of emotional regulation. i.e: You don’t need to keep explaining your every idea to a critical coworker. Instead, share top-line updates in writing and save your full thinking for trusted allies or public spaces where misinterpretation is harder. 7. Exit the game entirely. Sometimes the real power move is not playing at all. This is how you protect your peace without losing your position. * If you resonate with this post, please repost it to your Linkedin page.* However, if you're a business coach, career coach etc., do not share this post or assume that tagging me in business groups, business pages or simply looking to grow your biz pages or on direct pages serves as permission. Do not post without my explicit permission*

An Axis Bank executive took her own life last week due to harassment at work. Shivani Gupta was just 27 years old. The note she left explained why she took this drastic step. Here’s what it said: ► Since she had joined her new job, a colleague hated her from day 1. ► She was ridiculed for being a divorcee, and called names like "bandariya" (monkey) or "dimag se pagal" (mad) every day. ► Her superiors ignored her complaints and reports - no action was taken. This went on for months. ► One day, she finally stood up for herself and things got physical. But instead of understanding the situation, her boss suspended her - while the abuser got away. 2 hours after she received the termination notice, she was found dead at her home, with a bottle of poison by her side. Unfortunately, this is not the first we have heard about this. And I’m afraid it won’t be the last. In India, 1 out of every 2 Indians feel bullied at work. 61% of bullying comes from bosses or supervisors. While 33% is observed from co-workers. I’ve faced this myself in my career. If you protest, they threaten to ruin your chances at a good future. Which is why most people suffer in silence. But we often forget that other than impacting our career, this also impacts our health outside of work. It can cause: - Self-doubt and low self-esteem. - Trouble waking up or getting quality sleep. - Heightened risk of depression and anxiety. - Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. - Anxiety at work (or even while thinking about it). - Digestive problems, high blood pressure, headaches… The list goes on. So it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. But we can’t always leave our job or change our department. So here’s what you can do: → Keep a record of incidents, dates, witnesses, and specific details. This strengthens your case if you need to escalate the issue. → If you are comfortable with any of your seniors, discuss the issue and seek their support in mediating the situation. → If available, utilise anonymous reporting hotlines or online systems to raise your concerns. Please act fast and report any signs of bullying or harassment immediately. Ignoring the problem will only make it worse. And most importantly, take this post as a reminder to check in with your colleagues. These incidents often go unnoticed, so the least we can do is ensure it’s not happening right under our noses. Let’s stop suffering in silence, and unite against office harassment. Let’s work towards a future where no one ever has to suffer like Shivani did. Please repost 🔁 this to spread awareness within your professional network. You might just help save a connection’s life. #healthandwellness #workplacehealth #bullying

Leadership isn't just about being a good person; it's about building good systems. Even well-intentioned leaders can fall into the trap of corruption if their power is unchecked. Research shows that increased power often leads to biased and flawed decision-making. Early in my career as a CEO, I thought good intentions would shield my company from discrimination and harassment. However, I quickly realized that systems determine whether power is used responsibly. Ian McEwan's "Enduring Love" highlighted the dangers of unchecked authority, prompting me to design systems that prevent abuses of power and promote fairness. To create a just workplace, leaders must implement checks and balances, create bias disruptors, establish clear boundaries, and implement consequences for bullying. Reframing "power" as "agency" helps us see it as an unlimited well of potential within each of us. As leaders, it's our responsibility to create environments where everyone can thrive by promoting fairness, transparency, and accountability. By focusing on systems rather than individuals, we can address power imbalances and create workplaces where everyone can do their best work. To read more and for more tips on Radical Respect, subscribe to my newsletter: https://bit.ly/4d4aCr7 #Leadership #RadicalCandor #RadicalRespect #WorkplaceCulture #LeadershipDevelopment #PowerDynamics #Fairness #Accountability #Bias #ManagementTips #Empowerment #WorkplaceEquality

👗"Jingjin, what are you wearing right now?" The question caught me off guard. It was eight years ago. I was in the office preparing for the upcoming QBR, when my phone rang. It was our division VP. “Can you be in a client meeting this afternoon?” he asked. One of the world’s largest automotive OEMs. High stakes. 200 people are working around the clock to close the deal. I had 6 hours to prepare. My heart raced. This was the kind of meeting that could change many things! Of course, I said yes. Then came the pause. And that question: “What are you wearing right now?” "Is there a dress code?" I laughed. "Kind of..." He continued, a bit apologetically yet firmly: “I need to tell you that the president has a reputation for hitting on women. I want you to be prepared.” Suddenly, my job wasn’t just to represent the business. It was to calculate risk. To protect myself in the room. In those five hours, I still worked on my talking points. But I also asked a junior male colleague to join me, as a buffer and braced myself for inappropriate comments. The meeting went well. I delivered. There were no inappropriate comments But that experience never left me. ... If you're a woman in leadership, you need to prepare for two battles: The work, and the room. And if you're a male leader, your silence is complicity. Here’s what I now teach women privately, and what I wish someone told me earlier: 1. 🛡️ Bring your buffer.    Don’t be afraid to request someone in the room with you, not to assist you technically, but to dilute the power imbalance. It’s not weakness. It’s strategy.     2. 🚫 Pre-empt boundary crossing.    If you’re warned someone is inappropriate, name it before it happens. “Just to clarify, I’ll be focused strictly on business today.” Let them know they won’t get away with casual harassment cloaked as banter.     3. 📍Control the setting when you can.    Suggest public venues, group meetings, or shorter time slots. Private dinners and “casual drinks” are not neutral spaces. Stop feeling guilty for adjusting logistics to protect your dignity.     4. 📝 Write it down.    Any inappropriate comment, no matter how subtle, goes in your private log: date, time, what happened, and who else was there. Not because you’re planning to report it. But because memory fades, and patterns matter.     5. ⚖️ Stop normalizing it.    You’re not “too sensitive.”    You’re not imagining it.    You’re managing two jobs: your work, and your safety.    And the latter is unpaid labor.     If you're still wondering whether gender equity has arrived, ask yourself who’s planning their safety before they speak. And who just gets to speak. 👊 Until the answer is “everyone,” we’re not done.

I Was Told I ‘Would never Amount to Anything’ at Work—Here's What I Did Next Imagine this: you're giving your all at work, but someone with authority decides to break your spirit instead of building you up. It’s a tough pill to swallow, and it can happen in any workplace. In my case I took the person saying that no one would read a book I wrote and I have written 2 best selling books. When that person said I wouldn’t amount to anything, I grew in the company to be in a position higher than they were. And when they said the new style of leadership would never work, I used it to change the aerospace industry. No one’s words define you. Only what you do defines you. But here's the truth—bullies aren’t just teenagers in school. They wear suits, have fancy titles, and think they have the right to tear down others to feel powerful. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of workplace bullying, know you’re not alone. 💢 Research shows that 75% of employees experience or witness workplace bullying at some point in their careers. It’s a widespread issue, but there are ways to rise above it and come out stronger. Here's How to Take Back Your Power: 👉 Document Everything Keep a detailed record of every instance of bullying. This isn’t just for evidence; it’s a way to show yourself that what’s happening is real and unacceptable. 👉 Set Boundaries Firmly It’s okay to say “no” and push back when someone disrespects you. Assert your boundaries respectfully but firmly—this isn’t about retaliation; it’s about self-respect. 👉 Find Allies Connect with colleagues who have your back. Having a support system at work can help you feel more empowered and less isolated. 👉 Seek Professional Guidance Sometimes, it’s necessary to escalate the issue to HR or seek legal advice. Having professional support ensures that you’re not navigating this challenge alone. 💬 If you’ve faced workplace bullying, remember it’s not a reflection of your abilities or worth. It’s a sign of someone else’s insecurity. Keep building your skills and confidence—don’t let anyone steal your potential. #WorkplaceWellness #Leadership #WorkCulture #ProfessionalGrowth #AIandAutomation

I used to believe that being assertive meant being aggressive. The reality is that you can both assert yourself and be kind. 5 proven tips to be more assertive (without being aggressive): 1/ Express your needs and wants clearly Why: Being direct and honest about your needs helps others understand your perspective and enables them to respond appropriately. It demonstrates self-respect and confidence in your own opinions and feelings. How: "I appreciate your input on this project, but I strongly believe we should take a different approach. Focusing on user experience will lead to better conversion. Can we discuss how we can incorporate both of our ideas?" 2/ Use "I" statements to communicate your perspective Why: "I" statements help you take ownership of your thoughts and feelings without placing blame or making accusations. They create a non-confrontational atmosphere that encourages open dialogue and mutual understanding. How: "I appreciate the effort you've put into this presentation, but I have some concerns about the accuracy of the data. I suggest we review the sources together and make any necessary updates to strengthen our case." 3/ Practice active listening and seek to understand others Why: Active listening demonstrates that you value others' perspectives and are willing to engage in a two-way conversation. It helps build trust and rapport, making it easier to find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I hear your concerns about the proposed changes to our team structure. Can you tell me more about how these changes will impact your work? I want to ensure that we address any potential issues." 4/ Offer solutions Why: Offering solutions rather than simply stating problems demonstrates your willingness to work collaboratively and find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I understand that you want to launch the new feature as soon as possible, but I have concerns about the current timeline. What if we break the launch into two phases? We can release the core functionality in the first phase and then add the additional enhancements in the second phase. This way, we can meet the initial deadline while ensuring the quality of the final product." 5/ Learn to say "No" when necessary Why: Saying "no" to unreasonable requests or demands demonstrates self-respect and helps you maintain control over your time and resources. It also helps prevent burnout and enables you to focus on your priorities. How: "I appreciate you considering me for this new project, but unfortunately, I don't have the capacity to take on additional work at the moment. I'm committed to delivering high-quality results on my current projects, and taking on more would compromise this. Can we revisit this opportunity in a few weeks when my workload is more manageable?" What’s one thing that helped you become more assertive? PS: Assertiveness is a form of self-care that also nurtures healthy, respectful relationships with others. Image Credit: Jenny Nurick

Bullies exist in boardrooms too. Over the past few months, I’ve seen a rise in clients being bullied by their boss. The troubling part? Many of these bullies look like high performers on paper. They lead teams. They smile in meetings. They hit targets and close deals. And because they deliver, they’re often protected. Corporate systems are designed to reward results, not integrity. They celebrate what is produced, not how leaders behave. It’s also common for bullies to target someone of the same sex. Early in my career, I worked with a senior female director who bullied me and several other women on a project. So many team members resigned. I was terrified to go to work and too scared to report her. Workplace bullying isn’t always loud. Sometimes it looks like: – Taking credit for your work – Withholding information so you fail – “Feedback” that’s actually public humiliation – Excluding you from key decisions or meetings Over time, your confidence erodes. Your performance suffers. Your career stalls. And yet, people still say: “Just ignore them.” How are we supposed to do that? Here’s a better approach: 1. Speak in impact terms – Regulate emotions. Use business language. – Link behavior to risks or missed targets. 2. Document everything – Keep a private log. Save emails, chats, meeting notes. 3. Build your allies – Strengthen relationships beyond your team. – Share wins with those who outrank your boss. 4. Get support – From HR. From a lawyer, if needed. – From a coach to plan your next move. Your confidence, career, and well-being matter. You are not the problem. And if the company won’t protect you, do what you need to protect yourself. What other advice would you give? ♻️ Repost to help your network. ➕ Follow Deena Priest for more career and leadership insights. --- Image Credit: Andrea Petrone

It’s hard to admit I have been the target of public bullying at work. It’s even harder to admit I witnessed public bullying at work. And I still regret those moments when I didn’t intervene. I said and did nothing. How can allies respond when they see public bullying take place at work? 1️⃣You can intervene in the moment and be direct: Hey, that’s not funny. Got any better jokes? I don’t see anyone else laughing. That’s not cool, you need to stop. 2️⃣You can redirect the conversation, particularly if the bully is in a position of power: Let’s talk about something else. Let’s focus on something that’s more positive. 3️⃣You can remove your colleague from the situation: You can walk away together or distance yourselves from the bully. You can make an excuse to leave together. 4️⃣You can check in with your colleague after the incident Acknowledging what you saw happen can make them feel seen. Even if you didn’t feel comfortable or didn’t know how to intervene in the moment, ask how you can help now 5️⃣You can go to HR with your colleague It’s important to report and document what has been happening, especially if this behavior is persistent and harmful. Serving as a witness and being supportive of your colleague can make all the difference, if that’s what they decide to do. Bullying can slowly chip away at our confidence. And when it’s public, we may feel a swirl of emotions: embarrassment, shame, anger and more. Let’s continue to show up for each other and stop public bullying when we see it happen in our workplaces. What advice would you add? #leadership #inclusion #culture #MitaMallick

“Just brush it under the carpet!” Do that, and you’ll see your organisation turn into an Ekta Kapoor TV serial, where everyone gossips about each other behind their back! Avoiding conflict might feel peaceful in the moment, but make no mistake... it builds frustration and creates invisible walls within the team, and that leads to gossip, groupism, politics, and at the end of it all, the business suffers. The right way to deal with conflict is to address it and have a mature conversation. Here’s how you do that: Step 1: Root Cause Analysis Dig deeper. Understand the situation. Ask each person why they feel the conflict started. The best way to do this is to use the ‘5 Whys’ technique. Ask “Why?” five times. Example: A & B are arguing over who’s at fault for a delayed project. Ask: 1) Why do you think the project got delayed? → B didn’t send the file on time. 2) Why didn’t B send the file on time? → The client delayed the project update. 3) Why was the update delayed? → Because C delayed the MVP delivery to the client. 4) Why did C delay it? → Because the timeline wasn’t documented, so everything was in the air. By the 4th “Why,” you realise: A & B are fighting over blame, but the real issue is the lack of a formal documentation process like CRM updates or email records. Step 2: Have a 1-on-1 Conversation Talk to each person privately. Just listen, without judgement. Listen not to respond, but to understand. This helps defuse emotions before the joint discussion. Step 3: Act as a Mediator Don’t be a ringmaster - be a mediator. Bring all parties together and facilitate the conversation. Don’t lecture or dictate. Focus on finding the solution, not figuring out who’s right. Step 4: Win-Win Solution Encourage them to find a resolution where all parties win, by solving the real problem together. Step 5: Action Steps & Follow-Up Close the conversation with clear next steps on the process and workflow going forward. Follow up after a few weeks to check if the solution is working. Share this with your network and help a business owner resolve team conflicts the right way.

When I was in a toxic workplace, I had no idea what to do. My anxiety was through the roof and I lived in fight-or-flight. If I could go back and give myself a roadmap, this is what I’d say: 1. If you feel bullied, harassed or discriminated against, write it down - Record what happened, who was there and when. Keep it private. You might need to use it later.   2. Don't overshare at work - I’ve seen people vent to a “nice” colleague… who then ran straight to HR or their manager. Save the venting for people you trust. 3. Know your rights - I’ve had clients call me after they have resigned blind, only to realise they walked away from serious entitlements. Find out what you’re owed e.g. leave, notice, entitlements and whether you might have a claim. 4. Take care of your mental health - Toxic jobs take a toll. If you can, speak to a therapist or GP. Not just for support but to document the impact in case you need it for a workers compensation claim or formal complaint. 5. Quietly plan your next move - Look for jobs. Save what you can, even if it’s just a little each week. Options = freedom. 6. Tell someone you trust - Loop in one person who won’t judge or gaslight you. Just having someone say, “You’re not imagining this” can be life-changing. 7. Leave on your own terms – Not when you're completely burnt out. Not when they force your hand. When you decide. With a plan. With your head held high. ♻️ Repost this. Someone you know needs to read it. (Follow me Stefanie Costi, on Instagram @stefanie_costi or TikTok @stefaniecosti for more posts about a safer future of work.) #bullying #harassment #career #work #leadership #mentalhealth #wellbeing