Restoring trust through relational ethics

"Trust gone – now everything is lost? Or what is it like in leadership when you have lost trust in an employee? I had this question in a coaching session the other day. Can you still work together when trust is gone? Often there is no other option, and yes, I firmly believe that trust can be restored. From my experience, however, it is a long-term process. The first step must be to address the issue directly – even if it is tough. 🔑 Recognizing and addressing loss of trust: Open communication is crucial. Leaders should seek dialogue to clarify the reasons for the loss of trust and to clear up misunderstandings. It is important to name specific examples and situations that led to the loss of trust in order to find solutions together. A study by Kramer and Tyler (1996) emphasizes that open and honest communication is the key to rebuilding lost trust. Beating around the bush does not help. My strategy is always: Put the shit on the table! 🔑 Rebuilding trust: Trust can be gradually restored through consistent and transparent communication and by keeping commitments. It is helpful to delegate small tasks and responsibilities and to closely monitor the employee's progress. Positive reinforcement and recognition of improvements can support the process. According to research by Lewicki and Bunker (1996), rebuilding trust is a gradual process supported by consistent actions and keeping promises. A study by Kim, Dirks, and Cooper (2009) shows that small, positive interactions and the gradual transfer of responsibility can help restore trust. These small successes should be regularly acknowledged and celebrated to promote positive reinforcement. 🔑 Implementing control mechanisms: During the rebuilding of trust, it may be necessary to introduce temporary control mechanisms. However, these should be communicated transparently and presented as temporary measures to avoid further damaging trust in the long term. Research, such as that by Bijlsma-Frankema and Costa (2005), supports that such measures should be clearly communicated and presented as temporary. This transparency prevents the measures from being interpreted as mistrust and helps preserve long-term trust. What are your experiences and strategies? #LossOfTrust #Leaders #TeamCommunication #CoachingTips #TransparentCommunication #EmployeeLeadership"

Forgiveness isn’t soft. It’s strategic. In business, as in life, broken trust and unresolved tension act as slow poisons. They cloud judgment, stall momentum, and silently erode the very fabric of productive relationships. But here’s what most high performers miss: Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It’s about freeing. Freeing up emotional bandwidth. Freeing relationships to evolve. Freeing yourself to re-engage from a position of strength, not resentment. In our Avnir daily standup today, one of the fun questions was "What is a recent failure you've learned from?" I shared that several contacts (read: Relationship Takers) have recently taken my years of investing in Relationship Economics® for granted! Then I remembered that forgiveness is not merely a moral or emotional decision. It’s a strategic act—a choice to protect the relational capital that undergirds high-impact collaboration. Leaders who can’t forgive tend to relive the same interpersonal conflicts. Teams that can’t reconcile remain divided and dysfunctional. Organizations that don’t normalize grace tend to remain brittle under pressure. If you're struggling to forgive others, maybe think through: ❓ Where are you holding on to a grudge that’s costing you more than it’s protecting? ❓ Which relationship needs a reset—not because they deserve it, but because you do? ❓ Are you creating a culture where mistakes are addressed and then released? We all want resilient networks. But resilience isn’t built in perfection—it’s forged in imperfection, owned fully, and then forgiven wisely. Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s the highest form of relational discipline. #RelationshipEconomics #StrategicForgiveness #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #RelationshipCapital #TrustRestored

Betrayal happens, even to good people. It can be a beginning. How you can rebuild trust in 6 steps. Betrayal is deeply painful for both parties. I've been there. Betrayal shattered my relationship. It can take many forms and shapes, but it can also be the start of something new. Here’s what I learned from “The Science of Trust” by John Gottman: 𝟭. 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝗵*𝘁.  ↳ Stop hiding. Admit your mistakes. Be transparent, even about the dirty details. 𝟮. 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗵. ↳ Let your partner vent. Scream. Cry. ↳ This is your atonement. ↳ Remember, you’re not the victim. 𝟯. 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.  ↳ Turn towards each other. ↳ Listen actively. ↳ Respond with empathy. ↳ Address conflicts together. 𝟰. 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗥𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀. ↳ Create bonding rituals. ↳ Weekly date nights, morning coffee together. ↳ Discuss needs and boundaries openly. 𝟱. 𝗖𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁 𝗮 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻. ↳ Dream together. ↳ Set goals. ↳ Support each other’s ambitions. ↳ A shared vision is the bedrock of rebuilt trust. 𝟲. 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀. ↳ Establish clear boundaries. ↳ Be firm, consistent, and clear. ↳ These aren’t just rules—they’re safeguards against future betrayals. Rebuilding trust isn’t a one-time fix. It’s an ongoing process. Avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Build a culture of appreciation and gratitude. Rebuilding trust after betrayal is like resurrecting the dead. It’s gruesome, painful, and requires brutal honesty and relentless effort. But if you dig deep, own your mistakes, and commit to reconnecting, you can transform wreckage into a fortress of trust stronger than ever before. What’s your take on rebuilding trust? Share your thoughts. #negotiationbydesign #trust #relationship #negotiation