Developing Emotional Flexibility in Teams

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵? “I’m just so frustrated” In a high EQ organization, you're likely to ✅ nod ✅ empathize ✅ move on. So politically correct. You've just checked the proverbial "engagement" checklist. Our organizations today are so geared to being perfunctory and efficient. But are they really frustrated? Or are they:  ❓ overwhelmed ❓ disappointed ❓ embarrassed ❓ resentful ❓ fearful? Each of these means a different root cause. When leading a team, understanding that difference can make or break how the situation unfolds. I came across fascinating psychological research on the topic of emotional granularity. (research journals in comments) It’s not labeling emotions only; it’s about getting specific in order to empathize well. It’s the difference between hearing “I’m stressed” and knowing whether that stress is rooted in fear, uncertainty or the pressure to perform. Can you tell the difference between an employee who’s “angry” because they feel undervalued versus one who’s “angry” because they’re burned out? When you get this right, everything changes ✅ team dynamics ✅ decision-making ✅ your ability to lead through crises. Leaders who practice emotional granularity are far better at managing conflict and fostering trust within their teams. When you can name emotions with precision—yours and others’—you create clarity. Clarity is the antidote to chaos. How Can Leaders Use Emotional Granularity? 1️⃣ Start With Yourself. Leaders who model emotional granularity are 30% more likely to inspire loyalty and engagement within their teams. Your emotions set the tone for your organization. Practice identifying and sharing what you’re really feeling in high-pressure moments. 2️⃣ Listen Beyond Words. When your team expresses emotions, dig deeper. Ask questions like, “What’s driving that frustration?” or “What do you think is at the root of this?” Often, what people say isn’t the full story. It's okay for them to be imprecise and unfamiliar initially as you shape their emotional expression fully. 3️⃣ Create a Culture of Emotional Precision Encourage your team to articulate their feelings with specificity. It doesn't have to be a therapy session, just holding space. 4️⃣ Use Emotional Granularity in Difficult Conversations. Whether it’s giving feedback or navigating conflict, being precise about emotions helps de-escalate tension and build trust. If handling emotions within your organization feels like navigating a minefield—let’s talk. --- Follow me Stuart Tan MSc., MBA for more insights on leadership and oirganizational development!

I've been in countless tense team moments where emotions threatened to derail everything. The physiological response is real—racing heart, flushed face, mind suddenly blank. What I've learned is that our brains literally work differently when emotions take over. The amygdala (the ancient survival center) floods our system with stress hormones, and suddenly our prefrontal cortex—where all our thoughtful leadership skills live—goes offline. My most effective technique for these moments is incredibly simple yet powerful: 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. When I notice tension rising (in myself or others), I might say: "I'm noticing I'm feeling defensive right now, and need a moment to gather my thoughts." "It seems like emotions are running high. Let's pause and take a deep breath together." This isn't about suppressing feelings—it's about acknowledging them so they don't control the conversation. Neuroscience confirms that simply naming emotions reduces their intensity. Most importantly, this practice models what emotional intelligence looks like in action, showing your team that emotions aren't something to fear or avoid, but natural responses we can work with constructively. What's your go-to technique for managing emotions during challenging team moments? Share your practice. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free upcoming challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n #EmotionalIntelligence #TeamDynamics #DifficultConversations #LeadershipSkills #WorkplaceWellness

The emotional climate of your workplace isn’t just shaped by policies—it’s shaped by people. And that starts with us. Here are 3 ways I’ve learned to intentionally contribute to a healthier emotional culture on any team: 1️⃣ Take accountability for your emotional energy. Check in with yourself. Get honest about how you’re showing up—and choose how you want to express it. 2️⃣ Practice vulnerability. Especially in leadership. When you express difficult emotions openly, you create space for authentic connection and invite others to do the same. 3️⃣ Celebrate the opportunities, even in stress. Find something—anything—you’ve learned or gained, and acknowledge it. That act of reflection fuels resilience and growth. This isn’t about toxic positivity—it’s about emotional literacy, awareness, and conscious leadership. 🔔 Follow me for weekly videos on the emotional side of change ♻️ Repost to share real ways we can build emotionally healthy teams—from the inside out.

Effective communication isn't just about what we say, but how we understand and empathise with each other. That's where the Emotion Wheel comes in. It’s a simple and powerful tool that I've found incredibly beneficial in my work to build stronger team dynamics. 🔍 What is the Emotion Wheel? 🎡 The Emotion Wheel is a visual aid that helps us pinpoint and articulate our emotions more precisely. It breaks down feelings into primary, secondary, and tertiary categories and enables team members to express themselves with greater clarity and depth. ⚡ Benefits for Team Communication ⚡ 1️⃣Raises Emotional Intelligence By using the Emotion Wheel, team members can expand their emotional vocabulary and better understand the nuances of their own and others' feelings 2️⃣ Facilitates Empathetic Communication:  It encourages a more empathetic approach by allowing team members to recognise and respond to each other's emotions more effectively 3️⃣ Resolves Conflicts Constructively:  When conflicts arise—which is natural in any team—the Emotion Wheel helps to facilitate constructive discussions by addressing the underlying emotions rather than just surface-level issues. 4️⃣ Promotes Psychological Safety: Creating an environment where team members feel safe to express their emotions builds trust and openness.  This is crucial for innovation and collaboration. 5️⃣ Enhances Team Cohesion: Ultimately, integrating the Emotion Wheel into team communications strengthens bonds, reduces misunderstandings, and underpins overall team morale. 🌐 Embracing the Emotion Wheel 🌐 Whether you're leading a project, managing a team, or working collaboratively, understanding and acknowledging emotions can transform your team dynamics for the better.

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

"I was so angry that I felt I was going to explode. How dare he dismiss my views so casually". "Sometimes even if I don't say anything, I am told my feelings are plainly visible on my face". In my work as an #executivecoach, I hear statements such as these. A frequent coaching theme is emotional awareness and constructive expression of emotions. Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by emotions, struggling to articulate what you're feeling? Understanding and accurately labeling our emotions is crucial for effective self-expression and emotional management. It's not just about what you feel, but how you communicate it that can make a world of difference in personal and professional settings. Why Labeling Emotions Matters: 1. Clarity & Awareness: It helps pinpoint exactly what you're experiencing, fostering self-awareness. 2. Better Communication: Clear labels enable you to express yourself more accurately to others. 3. Self-Regulation: Knowing your emotions empowers you to manage them constructively. 4. Builds Emotional Resilience: By honing this skill, you pave the way for greater emotional resilience and stronger relationships. Lets take 2 scenarios to understand this better. Scenario 1: When Emotions Aren't Expressed Well A manager, feeling overwhelmed by a looming project deadline, addresses their team with frustration, saying, "You’re all not doing enough!" This broad statement stems from stress but communicates blame, leading to defensiveness and decreased morale among team members. Reframed Approach: When Emotions Are Expressed Accurately In a similar situation, the manager takes a moment to reflect and labels their emotion as "anxious" rather than just "angry." They express, "I’m feeling anxious about the upcoming deadline and worry we might be falling behind. Let’s discuss where we stand and what support might be needed to move forward." This approach encourages collaboration, openness, and a sense of shared purpose. Scenario 2: When One Feels Disrespected and Responds with Strong Words An employee feels unheard and disrespected in a team meeting. Frustrated, they say, "This is ridiculous! You never listen to me; this whole process is a waste of time!" While this communicates their frustration, it may escalate tensions and close down constructive dialogue. Reframed Approach: After taking a moment to reflect, the employee could reframe by labeling their emotion accurately and using "I" statements: "I feel frustrated because I sense my points aren't being considered. I’d appreciate it if we could revisit my ideas and discuss them further. I'm committed to finding a solution that works for everyone." This approach opens up the space for respectful dialogue and problem-solving. What has been your experience of emotional labeling? How has it impacted how you navigate your professional and personal life? #emotionalintelligence #coaching #personaldevelopment #unlockpotential Pic credit - as indicated in the image

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫: "𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧."? This came up in a coaching conversation just this morning. What I offered: The idea that emotions are simply information means understanding that emotions aren't just things we feel—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘂𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Instead of seeing emotions as purely reactive or disruptive, we can view them as messages, offering insights into our needs, values, and environment. ➡ When we feel an emotion like anger, for example, it often points to a boundary that has been crossed or a value that’s been challenged. ➡ Sadness might signal a need for connection or an acknowledgment of loss. 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲, 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀, showing us what matters to us and helping us make decisions aligned with our well-being. By approaching emotions this way, we’re less likely to judge or suppress them. Instead, we can pause and ask, “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚?” 𝗜𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁, 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹 for decision-making, team dynamics, and fostering a positive work culture. ✅ Leaders who understand and acknowledge their own emotions—and those of their team members—can respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. ✅ This approach enhances emotional intelligence, allowing leaders to address concerns proactively, communicate with empathy, and build trust. ✅ By treating emotions as data points, leaders can better identify areas for improvement, resolve conflicts, and create an environment where employees feel valued, understood, and motivated. This makes it clear that 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 and benefits the entire team. This can lead to more constructive responses, clearer communication, and better alignment with our goals and values. Embracing emotions as information also helps reduce the stigma around certain emotions, recognizing them as natural responses that bring valuable guidance.